dream out loud

My friends Ric and Gin have committed to one full month of blogging. I was much better when I first arrived in China but each passing month has seen a steady decline in the number of posts I write. Sometimes I think I have to have something important to say but most people back home or just interested in what I’m up to on a day-to-day basis anyway. So I need to remember blogging = weblog = diary. I think back to keeping a diary as a kid. I’d inevitably miss days at a time, then go back and try to make up for missed entries.

So my goal is to write a post every day for the month of July. It might be a boring sentence, but there will be something.

Today’s thoughts: Very, very stressful as there are two full days left of school. We’re supposed to be all packed up and ready to go by the end of the half day on Friday. I got home, fell asleep for about two hours and realized how badly I needed it. I will be back in NY by next Sunday evening. It’s so close I can’t believe it!

Alright, I lied about my silence. I could get in trouble here, but who watches me anyway? And this is important to me.

With one more day to go, I’ve been told by friends that Hotmail is now blocked too. Any stories on news web sites pertaining to this are also blocked. A friend of mine is a producer on a PBS show called Frontline. I can access their web site fine, as well as any other story about the financial crisis or on other topics, but when I try to view the story and video about this anniversary, I am denied.

As I last said, I did check again at the newsstand this morning. No stories in Chinese newspapers (at least on the front page – I don’t think they’d be too happy if I stood there going through each newspaper and not buying anything) about this. I asked my cousin who lives in Beijing if there’s anything out of the ordinary, like increased security or what not. Nothing.

Last night, while I was working, well after I’d written my last post, I kept the TV on in the background, waffling between various news channels. All of a sudden BBC blacked out. I switched to CNN and it was working. All of my other channels seemed to fine. It was too eerie a coincidence to ignore so I kept checking back. It was out for a good 5-10 minutes or so before coming back. Sure enough, this morning, Glen told me he read an article that TV channels are in fact being blocked against showing any story about the events.

Going back to wondering about whether this has to do with wanting to forget, fear, or apathy – I have decided that it’s probably just a taboo subject, pure and simple. The less we talk about it anymore, the less the future generations will know and then perhaps the issue will just die away.

I read a very poignant article on BBC’s web site about the generation that was born during or just slightly before the “incident.” Basically, they know very little, because it is never talked about, there is no information about it on the internet, and history books in school have omitted it.

This makes me angry and sad. History cannot be rewritten or erased. It upsets me that so many children (now adults) and future children are basically being denied the freedom of thought and to form opinions. I have probably said way too much already so I will need to stop here. Hope to have shed some light on this for those of you outside of China.

Two days from now will mark the twentieth anniversary of a particular unnamed event in China. I’m a little bit away right now, but I was actually there during the tenth anniversary. For that entire week, the whole area was blockaded off. Things in the city were just a little bit more quiet (with a feel of caution) than usual.

I don’t know how things are there this week, but I will certainly ask my cohorts. From where I am though, there’s a big impact, and at the same time, very little. Why very big? Many of us have affectionately coined the term, The Great Firewall of China. And that very firewall is at work again. YouTube has been blocked on and off for a few months now. Blogger just got blocked not long ago. And tonight I noticed that Twitter and Flickr have also joined the ranks. Oddly enough, I have never able to access WordPress blogs, however, I can get to the WordPress main page. So far, email, (Gmail and Yahoo Mail, at least) Facebook, iTunes and Skype are still working. My friend emailed me some photos from her recent vacation hosted by Picasa (also owned by Gmail) and I can access those as well. I wonder if those are to follow. I use a VoIP telephone in order to maintain a 212 number and I’m wondering if later this week, I’ll have troubles with that.
(All of these firewalled sites can be accessed if you have a VPN. But that’s not the point.)

And why do I say there is very little impact? Well, I was curious about what the media and people actually think, beyond the government trying to suppress any opinions or views being expressed on blogs, videos or photos. I started on the CCTV web site, and could not find one mention of the anniversary. Even a search for the name of it did not bring up anything new. Then, I started to surf channels on TV. I have had the TV on for a few hours now (procrastinating and doing research…) and have gone back forth on CCTV – both Chinese and English language, Asia versions of BBC and CNN. Not one mention.

Why isn’t there any media coverage? Fear? Apathy? Or are people trying to forget?

I plan to keep checking tomorrow and the day after. I will also walk by the newsstand to see if any magazines or newspapers make mention. Note: none did, as of today.

So, if you don’t hear much from me, know that I’m okay. And enjoy the silence.